Cynthia and I carpooled alone on the way to Monique’s dumpling party and I told her about you and most of the aspects of how our relationship functioned. On the drive back home, she began to question me about my approach. This prompted me to ask her the same question I have asked you: why do you date? From my experience I have learned that there are two basic answers to this question (with some minor variations here and there of course). They are: 1) I date because I am simply looking to have fun and to have someone to be with and because I know this relationship (despite being short term) will have mutual benefits – or perks. Furthermore, it will give me experience in dating and prepare me so that when I meet Mr. or Ms. Right, I will be adequately prepared to date them having already many of the relationship-straining or potentially ruining mistakes in previous relationships. Who knows? This person I am dating right now might turn out to be my future spouse! (this person is a little more easy-going about relationships, and generally, easier to get in bed) 2) I date because I am looking for my future spouse. Hence, each and every time I approach a potential dating situation, I ask myself if I have a future with this person. Can I see myself marrying this person? If the answer is no, then I do not date them and I do not even consider the notion as it would be betraying my future spouse. (this is a little bit of an extreme example but this person tends to be more reserved, takes dating more seriously, and is much more difficult to woo/seduce/hit on; a model Christian) You already know I would choose the first one. So did Cynthia. Haha. This in turn led to a conversation about how a model relationship should look. Although I know ours is far from model, I do believe a large amount of freedom is necessary and vital to a trusting relationship. Cynthia disagreed. Cynthia’s basic premise was that I was somehow training you to develop a bad habit by giving you such an exorbitant amount of freedom in who you associate with. She postulated that because i give you so much freedom (to go on dates, watch movies, enjoy concerts, etc.) with other guys, when/if we break up, you will continue that behavior because I trained you in it and you will a) look bad to observers, b) your future boyfriend(s) will suffer because of how I have "trained" you, and c) deep down you are feeling hurt because despite the amount of freedom i give you (and encourage) that is not truly what you want and that you would prefer more unspoken restrictions and a greater feeling of security and trust with me that is fostered through more conventional behavior and conversations. Her premise revolved around the idea that we do not discuss who we think is hot or not with the implied agreement that we think each other are the most attractive people in the world. Her perception of me talking about “rock-climbing girl” TO you was that it was quite hurtful to you and that despite seeming OK with it on the outside; you were truly hurt and saddened on the inside. I countered that our relationship was mutually beneficial and although it is unconventional, it is working perfectly fine for us. It lets you enjoy your time with your friends and reduces your dependence on me to have fun. In addition, it saves me the time/cost/energy to take you out myself and frees me up to hang out with my own friends. Despite this fact, I admit that I do not take you out on dates nearly as much as i should, I do spend a good deal of time with you outside of the apartment. Furthermore, I attempted to convey to Cynthia how important I thought friendships were and that ultimately, I must choose my friends over my relationship (much in the same way you have told me you would choose Michelle over me). I know for a fact that you are much more intelligent than what Cynthia is guessing and you know that this is just how I like the way things to go. This prompted Cynthia to retort that i was simply a lazy boyfriend (which may or may not be true).