change

change can be a scary thing in many ways, but it's also a birth, it's also a transition. how many times have i said, and have you had this happen in your life, where a change was bad? it feels bad at the beginning and that's what change always feels like: i just got dumped by my girlfriend, this is horrible. i'm moving, this is horrible. i'm going to a new school this is horrible. i'm starting a new job, this is horrible. change always feels scary, always feels bad. why? because it's unknown and we're scared of the unknown. And that's what freaks us out. we build our lives around the known. we build our lives around: that's my car, that's my house, that's my wife, those are my kids, that's my club, this is where i go, that's my music, this is where i put my keys, and this is how i dress. that's what we build our lives around and when that gets interrupted, it scares the crap out of us. but yet, when it gets interrupted it's usually always for the best and if you think about the lives with no change, those are the most un-lived lives. it's the guy who's been the postal carrier for 60 years and lives in the house he grew up in. think about the opposite of change. Steve Jobs has had a lot of change in his life and i don't want to just equate it to money but i just mean change in one's life and lots of change makes for a very rich vivid colorful life that's been led, as opposed to: this is the town i grew up in, i'm coaching girl's basketball at the high school i attended, i married my sweetheart from the ninth grade and i'm in the house that my parents lived in until they passed on. that is a pathetic life. so change is a good thing. now here's the thing about change, often times, you don't get to be the captain of your own change ship. other people get to make those decisions and when you decide to change it feels good. i want to break up with this person, i want to move on, i have a higher paying job i'd like to get onto, you know what? metro atlanta is a much nicer place to live and i'm moving over there. that feels good. when someone else decides on change, well then you are freaked out and you don't know what to do. but... is it ever bad? think about all the change that's ever happened in your life, has it ever been bad? and no, for me, it's growth, it's the essence of growth, it's really what growth is, it's how you measure growth. it's the rings in your tree.

we are on a primal level, terrified of change. we are desperate to cling to anything warm and comfortable and familiar. but is change a bad thing? temporarily, it can be. you're out of a job, you're out of a relationship, you're out of your old apartment, you're out of your old neighborhood, but looking back, six months, a year from that point, have you ever looked back and said, "i wish i still had that job today." it's really the opposite. at the time, you thought your world was ending when you lost this job but then you got something better. in the moment, you think, "i can't believe this girl is dumping me, i'm never going to get over this." and then later on, down the road, you think, "thank God i didn't end up with that girl."

change is always met with resistance but if you let it go and you have a rear-view mirror and you see the change that has taken place in your life you'll understand that you never would have gotten that far down the road without all the change that is holding you up - and anyone who's made it to twenty has four or five significant changes behind them: relationships, jobs, schools, neighborhoods... have they ever been bad?

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