detached

3-D. detached, disconnected, dry. that's how i feel that my relationship with God has been lately. i can't understand it. i want God to be there in my life. i want to feel his presence. but lately, i have felt so so so alone. i wonder if it's because i'm just experiencing a "dry season." i talked with joe today about it. and he said most people go through this series of ups and downs in their relationship with God. but i've never heard of it until lately. i also met with jasmine yesterday and she said that her connection with God became dry for about a year. i think God uses this as a filter to strain out the people with an external faith with people who have a true faith.

the worst part is that tomorrow, we leave for a retreat. i'm a counselor. a leader. and i'm not prepared to spiritually guide and lead my group. i need God.