lonely for people

you would never be able to guess this by just hanging out with me, but i am a very lonely person. not lonely for a girlfriend or a pet or anything like that. but lonely for people in general. this semester, and actually, probably since summer, i have noticed that i am missing people in my life. sure i have acquaintances. and way more than most people. but i don't have that many close friends. i yearn for someone i could just call up and say, "hey, let's watch a movie!" and lately, the number of people i could do that with is dwindling and dwindling.

in the last six months or so, i have become sort of a hermit, retreating into my apartment and rarely coming out of my room. as a direct result of that, i do not see people as often as i used to. and when i do, it's usually awkward and difficult. because of that, i try to avoid contact with people by staying in my room. it's a vicious cycle, you see? albeit, my room is very very cozy and comfortable so even if i was more social, i would spend a lot of time in my room anyway.

mv is my best friend at this point (again) and i truly treasure his friendship. i have great conversations that both of us find very enjoyable. as he says, "it's never a dull moment when we're hanging out."

now that i think about it, a girlfriend, or better yet, a dog would alleviate my loneliness. but that is not a viable option for me. possibly in the future, but for now, i think i am going to have to learn to live with it.