a poor return on the most important investment

i've really been thinking about my future life. not my future career, but my family life. and i've been mentally comparing and contrasting that imagined family to my current one. this led to an in-depth analysis of how my parents raised me.

i think everything went fairly well, except for two things.

1) manners - i've always been a well-mannered child and adult. or at least that's what i've been told and what i like to think. but there's a deeper level to it. there's manners to superiors (good at it) and manners to peers and equals (not so good at it). i continuously analyze my previous conversations later in the day. i sometimes say things, i know later i shouldn't have said, and i think to myself, "why the heck did i just say that? that was mean, rude, and cruel!"

2) showing me love - my dad never directly said he loved me. he would always say it indirectly or try to show it some other way like granting me a lot of freedom growing up. i vow to always remind my children that i love them. i really really want them to grow up in a christian quality environment. i never had it growing up, and i only discovered later in my life.

anyway, the point of this is, my parents consider me an important investment to their future and old age. i suppose they figured that i would take care of them in the event that they could no longer take care of themselves. and although i love my parents, i don't like my parents. i could not be around them and i'm not sure how i would feel about being forced to contribute to them financially.

to be continued...